There were times in my life when this kind of singing was impossible, because I had no voice. At other times when I was singing, I sounded like a drunken rooster, but I sang anyway after all I was alone while traveling by car. Those days when I attempted to sing in church, my boys were laughing at me so hard they almost rolled on the floor. Due to stress and “repressed emotions” my vocal cords developed nodules. My doctor was advising me to undergo surgery in order to remove them. Interestingly enough, I was never asked about my lifestyle. I underwent speech therapy thinking that English being my second language was the cause, but I was wrong. Who knew singing would be the cure? It helped to get rid of the nodules.

But before that happened, my stress had affected my voice to the point that at times, I couldn’t speak at all.
This inability to make any sound symbolized something else. I wasn’t speaking my own truth. I was reluctant then because my words were falling on deaf ears, someone else’s ear. Totally dismissing my own awareness I made the mistake of completely adapting to someone else’s perspective. I wasn’t listening to myself. My body was sending me signals by building these nodules on my vocal cords, for a short period of time shutting down my voice completely. My inner voice was silently screaming for my attention. It took a long time before I truly listened.

It has been more than few years since that time, and I have now learned how to speak my truth, and how to trust that inner knowing. Today I know that in situations when we are not honouring our truth, and are living a lie, our bodies will find a way to get our attention.
The mind might want to override that inner knowing, but the body will never fail to speak the truth. Pay attention to these physical signals – they may be leading you to the right path.